Thanks for choosing to stay at my place this weekend! I hope you have a lovely time here. Below are some guidelines for your visit—if you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask! Please make yourselves at home and have sex.
Just to be clear: I know that having sexual intercourse with your partner in a stranger’s home is an essential part of a romantic getaway in the sharing economy, and I want you to have a special weekend together in my house. I hope that by being upfront about that reality, I can make you feel as comfortable as possible about ravishing each other in my bed while I stay at my friend’s place a few blocks away.
If you’d like to enjoy a night in, the kitchen is fully equipped—feel free to cook up a storm! The pots and pans are in the cupboard above the sink. After you eat, please give each of the dishes a little rinse before putting them in the dishwasher. After that, go ahead and have passionate sex upstairs! If you wind up having sex on the kitchen counter, just make sure to scrub it […]